Life Transitions and Existential Crises

Have you ever been caught…

… in one of those gnarly Florida torrential downpours while driving down the highway? The rain comes down fast and hard, attacking you from all directions.

You watch the wind fiercely lift, bend, and twist the rain in its path in a wild and furious dance, making your car vibrate and convulse with it.

You white-knuckle your steering wheel as raindrops barrel down on your car with such force that you wonder if they turned into solid rock just before making contact.

It’s only 3 p.m., but it’s as dark as midnight. You can barely see a thing. Lightning illuminates the sky with sudden flashes of light that scatter through the atmosphere – adrenaline courses through your veins. You brace yourself for the deafening thunderclap that will inevitably follow – and it does, with such force that the ground trembles and you with it.

That’s what major life events and transitions feel like while you’re in them.

You’re in survival mode, trying to hold it together long enough to get through it – whatever IT is.

It could be the end of a meaningful relationship, a career change or job loss, a cross-country move, or a major disruption in your family structure.

It could also be a significant change in living conditions, leaving home for the first time, adjusting to a new work environment, or a quarter-life crisis.

Maybe you had the arrival of a new baby, or you’re parenting a child through the many phases of development.

These significant changes usually require you to take on a new role, let go of a role you’ve identified with for years, adapt to a new environment, or adjust to new circumstances.

Change is difficult as it is…

… but life transitions challenge who you are at your core. It feels like a test. The learning curve is often steep, and there’s no handbook or instruction manual.

It’s a process of adjusting to a new normal while grieving what’s been lost – your identity, a future that will never be, a relationship or a career in which you invested so much of yourself – sometimes against your wishes.

There’s a clear before and after. Something inside you has changed, and you wonder if you’ll ever be the same again.

You feel lost, out of control, and in despair. There’s uneasiness in the pit of your stomach.

You want to escape, distract yourself, and feel in control again. You might turn to use substances, jump headfirst into work, or attempt a life overhaul – anything that has the potential to provide you with a temporary sense of relief.

You have to be careful, though: “A veces, el remedio es peor que la enfermedad,” meaning, “the cure is worse than the disease.”

If the storm’s over, where are the rainbows?

Let’s say the worst has passed.

In the immediate aftermath of an event that shakes you to your core, sometimes there are no rainbows, only questions about yourself and the events that transpired (and there are no simple answers).

Why did this have to happen? How can I possibly recover from this? How do I find a way to move on?

When it’s all over, it can feel much worse than being caught in a storm… it can feel like you’ve just survived being put through a wood chipper.

And now, you’ve gotta figure out how to pick up the pieces, put yourself back together again, and move forward.

Therapy can be your safe haven.

Whether you’re currently caught in the middle of the storm…

Or trying to pick up the pieces and start over again after making it through to the other side…

Therapy can be that haven where you can process everything happening, find your center, and learn to cope in adaptive ways.

We’ll begin by assessing where you are – navigating through the storm or having just survived it. We’ll collaborate on setting goals to manage stress, process difficult emotions, or cope with depression and anxiety.

The best approach is comprehensive; therefore, I often refer my clients to other professionals who can provide supportive services that work well in conjunction with psychotherapy.

We’ll work on developing adaptive coping skills – exercising, socializing, finding a creative outlet – focusing on identifying what will work for you and incorporating mindfulness-based exercises that honor the mind-body connection.

I will guide and support you while you close the current chapter, reconnect with yourself, and choose a path to moving forward that is true to you.

There’s still a way to move forward.

You can find yourself again. Therapy can help.

Let’s talk about how I can help. Call me for a free 15-minute consultation: (561) 247-2901.